All the Writerly Angst

I think one of the perpetual questions a writer asks is will anyone really want to read this?  I often find myself wondering if anyone else cares even a bit about the things I write about.  I have yet to find some perfect way to know what the world (or even my corner of it) wants to read, so I fall back on writing to myself–I like reading this kind of thing and I’ll trust that others do too.

So we have this post.

I love reading about other writers’ writing processes, so I’m going to take a little long post to talk about my writing desk.

When I finished writing Catania’s Forest close to this time last year, I was left with the inevitable question of what to write next.  The stories come and go so fast!

There was a quaint little story I had left lying around half-written called Blue Eyes Eastward.  I picked it up again and decided to finish writing it before anything else.  I got a new story idea partway through (Anchored, my pirate story) and started plotting it, but Blue Eyes was still a priority.

Well, then I had a setback, that started when I realized my villainess was sadly shallow.  In the end I realized I didn’t like the themes of my story at all, I was doing things I had seen other authors do and hated, and I needed to consider dropping it.  So that story died–I killed it.  And man! was that hard.  When I look back on it, I don’t feel much for that story, but at the time it was a very hard decision to make.  As Anchored was still deciding what it wanted to be and how many characters would live through it, I was not ready to start writing it (still not!).  So there was a lull.

And into that lull came “Nieo and Star”, the story I’m currently writing.  And guys, I love this story so much!  There literally aren’t humans in this story, it’s straight fantasy creatures, and my imagination is. in. heaven.  While Cat’s Forest was certainly fantasy, I was very focused on making it feel real and it’s darker than what I usually write (I know that some of you will find it amusing that I call Cat’s Forest dark, but it’s dark for me!).  And so as Anchored isn’t typical fantasy and all the important characters are human, and I’ve been toying around with some sci-fi lately, this story is just perfectly timed!  It feels so, so good to get back to good ol’ classic Medieval fantasy and remember why it’s my favorite genre.

But, of course, it isn’t all peaches and rainbows through and through.  While this has been a pretty peaceful stage in my writing with minimal writer’s block, it’s also lead me to think about being a writer more than usual.  This story feels unique.  It’s also very, very me.  It’s been a long time since I wrote something so fresh off my imagination.  It’s hard to put into words, but this story feels personal.  Which means it’s more fun to write, but it’s really scary!  I feel like I’m slicing a piece off my heart and pasting it to a page.

And hence: the inevitable question.  Does anyone want this stuff besides me?

And I don’t really have an answer.  Would people like Nieo and Star?  Would anyone read it?  I don’t know.  But I’m writing it anyway, and I’m writing it the way my imagination wants it, in hopes that someone else is like me, and someone else likes to read such things.

Anyway, I hope this post didn’t feel too down-in-the-dumps and someone found it interesting.  If anything, it was interesting to write!  Happy Monday!!

2 thoughts on “All the Writerly Angst”

  1. Hanna,
    Thanks for sharing a piece of you before we read page one of the story coming our way.
    Consumers consume the same product for different reasons. The same is true of what we read. We all are drawn for different reasons to read the same story. I most often read something to ‘learn’, also I pick up books sometimes to be entertained and finally I have picked up some because of the author and trust I will benefit from his/her thoughts.
    I have utilized all three criteria in reading your stories…perhaps the most used is the latter. I know you and I want to know you better and reading what you write tells me something about you.
    An artist paints a picture but not in a mechanical way. Every brushstroke is a part of them. That is why critiques of their work are taken in a very personal way. One criticizes the artist when the criticize his work. It is inevitable and we should be cognizant of that. Same true of a writer…they paint pictures with words and not pigment.
    I have read some of your writing with the intent of learning more about Hanna, and I have. Often I have been drawn into the story itself not thinking that would likely happen. That reflects a certain level of skill on your ability. To pull an unlikely participant into the story requires some real gifts in content, emotions, storytelling, humor only to mention a few. I have found myself waiting for the next chapter.
    An artist seldom knows the impact he has on the viewer, he does not even know who they are. Same for the writer. If the artist must paint for his pleasure alone and rest in the fact, some may find pleasure and some will not…again the same for the writer. They must write for their own pleasure…they have to write/paint, it’s essence for them.
    You always must know that you will feel vulnerable when you write because inside you are aware that you have just exposed some of your essence. That will always feel risky. The quandary is ‘do I’, or ‘don’t I’. I am here to encourage to always ‘do’. You simply must.
    I have never been disappointed in reading your writing because I have always left it gaining what I really want and that is to know better the author. I have been richly blessed in gaining that knowledge. Even your words that have provoked this response from me show me much about the author, You!
    Bless you Hanna. I love you, Gpa. R.

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