If you keep up with the Marvel franchise at all, you probably know that Avengers: Endgame came out today. (And no, I’m not going to see it yet, so no spoilers. 😉 ) The previous Avengers movie, Infinity War (SPOILER ALERT! I guess, but seriously, ya’ll, it’s been a year), ended with the villain turning half of the main cast into dust. Literally.

This was rather shocking, since Marvel usually opts for a more typical “happy ending.” In fact, this happy-ending, good-guy-wins aspect is, I think, what most people like about superhero movies.

Of course, most of the Avengers fans doubt that any of these characters are really gone for good; Marvel characters don’t have the best track record for, well, really being dead.  No sooner had Infinity War come out than a barrage of fan theories followed. One popular one is that in Endgame someone will use the Time Stone to go back in time and save the characters who died in Infinity War.

I’m not really one for time-travel in stories. But while watching the latest trailer (and crying–don’t make fun of me), I realized that a part of me really, really wants Endgame to have such a simple solution. It’s hard to be picky about storytelling devices when I just don’t want to watch the characters suffer anymore.

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In The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones, the chapter about the Resurrection is called “God’s wonderful surprise.” After Jesus appears to Mary Magdalene, it describes her running back to the city:

And it seemed to her that morning, as she ran, almost as if the whole world had been made anew, almost as if the whole world was singing for joy — the trees, the tiny sounds in the grass, the birds. . . her heart. Was God really making everything sad come untrue? Was he making even death come untrue? (317)

I realized this was the key to my sudden desire for time travel. I wanted everything sad to come untrue. I watch superhero movies because I love watching a hero save the day; I don’t like it when the hero (or heroes, in the Avengers case) can’t make things right.

Like I said in my post about Richard III, I think this desire for a savior is part of being a human. We were created to want justice. We were created to live in the garden that God called “good.”

In real life, the Hero already saved the day. The Resurrection was the climax of the greatest hero story ever. Jesus was the Hero on Easter, and He’s also the Hero we’re still waiting for.

My life is an awkward place between two victories.

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I attended a concert last summer with my older brother and some friends. After a few original songs, the singer started an old hymn. I didn’t know it very well, but I sang along as best I could. I remember noticing one line that had never stood out to me before:

“Earth has no sorrow that heaven can’t heal.”

It was hard to sing. This concert was right in the wake of my little brother’s diagnosis and the idea of death being smacked hard into my face. Remembering that concert still makes my throat tighten.

Yet I learned something that night. I realized that I believed God would heal my brother, in this life or in the next, but I didn’t believe He could heal my broken heart.

Revelation 21 says that in the new Jerusalem there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain. I guess that doesn’t leave room for my heartbreak.

“Tears rolled down Jesus’ face. The face of the One who would wipe away every tear from every eye.” (304)

–The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones

The Hero already let us break His heart, so our pain wouldn’t last forever. And it won’t last forever.

So let’s live in victory, hobbits.